I’ve typically been one to hold a grudge. If someone hurt me—really hurt me—I usually have an extremely difficult time letting them back in or even letting it go. I’m a pro at the cold shoulder and avoidance, but lately, I’ve been learning how much easier kindness is.
When someone spends their time actively being rude to someone else (not returning hellos, avoiding places so they don’t have to see you…) they’re hurting no one but themselves. Yes, it stings a little to be snubbed, but to consciously consider moves in a social setting to make sure you don’t encounter a certain person or group of people is exhausting. To actually try to be rude and hurt another person’s feelings takes time and energy. I know. I’ve spent 21 years doing it, trying to make people who’ve hurt me feel as terrible as I felt. But I’ve recently found how much easier it is to just be nice.
Saying hello, smiling, acting like nothing happened is so much easier. I’ve come to realize that I’m not karma. I don’t have to go around doling out consequences to make people know they messed up. They’ll find that out on their own. It’s just so much better to just be nice. Not to mention, it makes you look better in any given situation. When you’re nothing but nice and people are still extremely rude to you, it makes it their problem, not yours.
I’m so much happier now that I’ve let go of a ton of grudges, like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The universe can handle mean people, I shouldn’t have to. We’ll all end up with what we deserve.